So, after a week and a half of very hard, tiring work, we decided to forego potty training at this point. It was a hard decision to make, not just because I want this boy potty trained, but because my stubbornness often causes me to push forward on things that don't really need to happen in the timing I created for myself. I just had so much confidence in us - in myself - that I thought this process would be quick and easy so I could just write a blog about how fantastic everything was going. It wasn't. It isn't. And now that we're moving, it's time to let it go.
Because I turned potty training into a test of just how determined I am as a mother... not about how God is growing Owen and what he needs right now. He is just not at the point where he can communicate to us when he needs to go but he does realize when he has not done things correctly. This just turns into a spiral of frustration and tears, which is not how I want him to think of the potty. So in turning to Jesus and refuting the lies that I am a failure, we are going back to diapers for a couple of months until Owen is really ready to kick this in two days.
I really had to face this fact last weekend when our moving process started. I am not going to be able to work with Owen every hour of the day while we are packing, moving and needing babysitting throughout the next couple of weeks. My dear husband has been encouraging me in this direction for a few days and I finally really heard him and heard the Lord telling me this. I just needed to reach the point of understanding that this has nothing to do with me. And in that, I experience freedom in Christ! Knowing that He - and only He - is enough and will supply me with the strength and courage to get through not getting through this right now.
All that to say, we are moving in five days. FIVE DAYS! We have lived in Newcastle for just over two years now and I'm starting to see that it's not all going to be cake and flowers when we go. I love our little community and although I know we already have a great one waiting for us in Fairwood, change is hard. There are so many great things about Newcastle, but God is moving us. And I know He will do great things in our family as we transition to a new community.
On another note, I wanted to give a quick pregnancy update. I am fourteen weeks now and in my second trimester. I had another appointment today and got to hear the heartbeat for the second time! It was beating very quickly, which makes me wonder if it's a girl! We have six weeks until we can find out the gender and I'm very excited. Not finding out with Owen was really, really fun but it will also be great to know earlier this time around.
All in all, we are really looking forward to the move this weekend but can definitely use prayer for physical and emotional strength as we embark on the journey of moving and building furniture, adjusting to a new place with a toddler and a cat, packing, unpacking and all the other glorious details that come with moving. I'm very thankful that my strength is not my own - especially in a season such as this!! Jesus IS enough, friends - no matter WHAT the enemy tells you!