Learning to be Blessed

It's funny how we ask for prayer for certain things and then when those prayers are answered we ask for prayer that we can "handle" the blessings that we've been given.

For a long time, Nick and I prayed for him to find a consistent job that provided for our family, was fairly close to where we live and was something he enjoyed. Now that he has a job that is all of those things, I find myself praying that I have patience with him as he works more hours and has to spend a little more time away from our family than before.

I also prayed that my photography business would take off this year. Now that it has, I am constantly praying that I find the time to get everything done around the house as well as finishing up all my photo projects.

Above all, Nick and I have prayed for comfort since we got married. We've prayed for stability. For peace. For the ability to lay down roots and stay in one location for more than six months. And now that we're all cozied up here in Newcastle and have been for quite some time now, I'm feeling restless. Nick and I watched a sermon by Francis Chan last night about suffering. By the end of his thirty-minute talk, all I wanted was a good dose of pain and persecution so I could feel that much closer to Christ. But that's crazy, right? To pray for affliction? I don't know.

I just get tired sometimes of being so blessed. And I know that's a terrible thing to feel. I should be at Jesus' feet, weeping out of gratitude for every moment of my silly little life. Instead, I grow complacent. I get frustrated with the day-to-day routine. I actually want something to complain about. Rather, to grow from. But at the same time, I'm afraid of actually asking for God to give me a trial... because I know that He'll give it to me. And while it may sound glamorous to me right now, I don't think that in reality suffering would be very much fun.

I guess what all this comes down to is I need to learn how to be thankful. I need to learn how to be satisfied with where God has me now and excited to see how He is using this time to grow me, whether I am in a season of suffering or not.